Angry Again

Yup, he finally cracked... he threatend to beat me with a hanger, and throw me out on the street
Here you go "dad"... great job raising a freak
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I hate everything about you
Why am I living with you?
I thought I was dirt
Wanted to be something
I know now that I'm forever dirt
I am a nobody
When I'm dead, you'll know just who I am
I have to get out
But it's a long hard road out of hell
Oh god...
GOD I'm so scared I'm all alone now
Everything about me is wrong
I must be sick I don't belong
Just labeled mentally deranged
LEAVE ME BE
This is who I am
So just leave me alone
No more can you keep me in
Listen f***er, I will win

Life's a bitch, life's a whore
Nothing less and nothing more
I can't escape this hell
I know I can never win
In your blood-filled heart I'm drowning
The love we share seems to go no where
From the way you're acting it seems that you don't care
It's too dark in here and I've lost my light
I need someone to hold me tight
Why don't you LOOK at me?
Why don't you be sad for me?
Why don't you help me?
Why don't you pitty me?
You can see me suffocate
I can find no way
Try to break these heavy walls
Try not to pull me apart
You're aiming straight for the heart
Living it hard enough without you fucking with me
Look at the pain around me
This is what I cry for
Look at the pain around me
This is what I'll die for
My only comfort is death

:")

I'm not like them, but I can pretend
The day is done and I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb, or maybe just happy
I'm so lonely but that's ok I'll shoot myself
And I'm not sad
I'm so happy cuz today I found my friends
They're in my head
I should have stayed away from friends
I should have had more time to spend
I should have died when I was born
I'm so screwd up
And I know that's bad
But I'm not sad

I finally came to my senses and I'm writing again

You always laughed at my tragedies
now that it's happening to you
You're searching for a helping hand
I don't think anyone is gonna lend you that
Like my friends did for me
You see, fame and money don't buy happiness
It's nice for once to watch someone like youlose control
Just to watch you cling to life by the tips of your teeth
Sellling out your friends and stabbing them in the back does not pay off well in the end
But that's something that you are, something that I'm not
So I'm gonna lend you my helping hand for one last time
And I know you're gonna forget about it and forget me too
Like you always do
I'll hold on to that moment cuz I bled my heart out for you, and I won't let it go
Can't you understand? Who helped me up when I fell? Who raised their helping hands for me?
My friends
When you stumble and fall again, you won't find anyone to help you up
And the memories will come back to you
Finally, you'll come crawling back to me saying "I am nothing without you".

Everything is falling apart, nothing is right

So I quit... I QUIT everything, my blog, messenger, facebook... everything

I QUIT!!